You also, be patient.

"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door. As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful."

James 5:7-11

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, but I figure now is just as much an appropriate time as any, because I seem to think and mull things over the most when I write.

I'm flat out not a patient person. I constantly rush things, am never content with where I am or where God has me at the moment. My fallen nature tends to get the best of me, and instead of focusing on all of the good things that God has put in front of me to enjoy and give Him glory for, I focus on the one thing I don't have and subsequently make myself miserable.

I've been going through the book of Ecclesiastes lately. Somebody today called it a very "backwards" book of the Bible. I kind of see where it's coming from. You've got a man, likely Solomon, writing about how all of life is vain. Of course, Solomon had neither a concept of an afterlife nor the knowledge of who Jesus is, but in a temporal sort of way, it makes sense when you think of where he's coming from. He's a man who had everything. He had wisdom like the wisdom he showed in Proverbs. He had, at one point, a happy, Godly marriage as seen in Song of Solomon. And then somewhere after those books it all fell apart. He falls into this pattern of thinking:

"Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun. Is there a thing of which it is said, 'See, this is new'? It has been already in the ages before us. There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after."

Ecclesiastes 1:1-11

I've really keyed in lately on the verse that says "All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full." I want to stop being the sea and start being the stream. I'm tired of just soaking up all of these blessings and not pouring some out to others. I don't feel like the earth is futile, because I know that there is a loving God running it. I know that He is a Dad who loves me and has taken care of me for longer than the 21 years I've been alive. He knew me before I was born, and will know me long after I die. He knows my likes and my dislikes, my wants and my needs, my sins and failures along with the things He's done through me and the high points of my life. He knows me inside and out and won't leave me. But somehow I've lost sight of the stability of the world.

There is a beautiful stability in Solomon's words. True, the streams will always run into the oceans for as long as the world exists. And the oceans will never be filled. But that's what they're supposed to do, isn't it? The streams go to the same place every time, the sun rises and goes down in the same place every day, both in complete obedience and submission to their God. Instead of being futile and depressing, I feel like they're teaching me a little bit about obedience. As Jesus designed them to be, so they are: unquestioning, obedient, and loyal servants of the King of Kings. And what is the result of this obedience? A planet full of life, warmed by the sun and watered by the streams that flow through the land. The oceans support fish and tons of other life. The wind that blows carries seeds and pollen that causes plants go grow all over the world.

How did we come to the conclusion that the world works better when we're in control?

How did I come to the conclusion that my life works better when I'm in control?

I want to be the stream. I want to go where Jesus tells me to, and flow into the oceans that Jesus commands me to. I want to rise when He says rise, and set when He says set. I want to stop looking for the things that I think I want and simply do what He wants me to do. He is a good Father that won't give me a stone when I ask for bread. He won't give me a serpent if I ask for a fish. He won't leave me without the things that my heart needs. I just have to be patient. I have to be satisfied with seeing, satisfied with hearing. I have to stop desiring more and more and more and just desire Him. I want Jesus to work that miracle in me, to change my desires from those of an impatient, unfocused 21 year old college guy to those of a man with wisdom and patience given to him by God.

But that will only happen if I stop trying to control my own life. I see the evidence of my Dad stepping in every day. It's a very humbling experience to know that even when I feel like I planned something with its own purpose, God is accomplishing His plan on a much higher level than I could ever dream of. Every single step of my day is not only known to Him, but planned by Him and shaped by Him. There is no defeat for the believer. God will accomplish his will. I think it was C.S. Lewis that said, "We all do the will of God, but some do it like Judas and some do it like Peter." I've come to realize that for a believer, all "taking control" does for us is increase our frustration with ourselves, because we notice the power of God in our lives, and it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to obtain something that is our desire or want, God has the final say. It is visible to us that "the lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:33). When we try to take control, its impossible for us to ignore the influence of God on every single aspect of our lives, and our fallen nature, the root of our controlling rebellion, is insulted by its insignificance compared to the power of God.

I've been rebellious and controlling and impatient lately. I've been convinced that I have to make all the moves, I have to control every piece of my chess match, I have to be here at the right time, there at the right time, say the right thing, shut up at the right time. Really the solution is that if I'm just worrying about Jesus, if I just worry about His will, His will includes a perfect, holy, sanctifying, and perfectly fulfilling plan for me. By submitting to His will, I'm submitting to a loving, God-honoring and God-glorifying, conformed-to-Christ plan for me. What else could I possibly want? Because every single need I have is contained in that plan.

Jesus doesn't love me because of what I do. He loves me just because He does. Same with all other believers. He is patient with me, so I should be patient with His plan for my life. He's better at my life than I am anyway. Maybe I should just let Him live it.

What a novel idea.

Fast Horses and Falling Breaches

You know, there are those moments in life that you sit there after praying for a while and get just a little bit of an inkling that God is speaking to you. And then there are those times when God makes Himself so abundantly known that a deaf man would not need a hearing aid to notice His voice. This is kind of one of those times.

I've really had my brain stuck in Isaiah 30 lately. I'll go ahead and throw that out there. Here goes:

"Woe to the rebellious children," says the LORD, "who take counsel, but not of Me, and who devise plans, but not of my spirit, that they may add sin to sin; who walk to go down to Egypt, and have not asked my advice, to strengthen themselves in the strength of Pharaoh, and to trust in the shadow of Egypt! Therefore the strength of Pharaoh Shall be your shame, and trust in the shadow of Egypt shall be your humiliation. For his princes were at Zoan, and his ambassadors came to Hanes. They were all ashamed of a people who could not benefit them, or be a help or benefit, but a shame and also a reproach."

The burden against the beasts of the South.

Through a land of trouble and anguish, from which came the lioness and lion, the viper and fiery flying serpent, they will carry their riches on the backs of young donkeys, and their treasures on the humps of camels, to a people who shall not profit; for the Egyptians shall help in vain and to no purpose. Therefore I have called her Rahab-Hem-Shebeth.

Now go, write it before them on a tablet, and note it on a scroll, that it may be for time to come, forever and ever: that this is a rebellious people, lying children, children who will not hear the law of the LORD; who say to the seers, "Do not see," and to the prophets, "Do not prophesy to us right things; speak to us smooth things, prophesy deceits. Get out of the way, turn aside from the path, cause the Holy One of Israel to cease from before us."

Therefore thus says the Holy One of Israel:

"Because you despise this word, and trust in oppression and perversity, and rely on them, therefore this iniquity shall be to you like a breach ready to fall, a bulge in a high wall, whose breaking comes suddenly, in an instant. And He shall break it like the breaking of the potters vessel, which is broken in pieces; He shall not spare. So there shall not be found among its fragments a shard to take fire from the hearth, or to take water from the cistern."

For thus says the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel:

"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence shall be your strength." But you would not, and you said, "No for we will flee on horses"- Therefore you shall flee! And, "We will ride on swift horses"- therefore those who pursue you will be swift!

One thousand shall flee at the threat of one, at the threat of five you shall flee, till you are left as a pole on top of a mountain and as a banner on a hill.

Therefore the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you; And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; Blessed are all those who wait for Him.

Isaiah 30:1-18

Yeah, I thought that those were a pretty beefy 18 verses. I could've kept going, but I'm just going to cut it off there for now. Let me break down why this has been impacting me so much. Basically what we have here is the children of Israel looking to find their strength in places other than in their God. He wants to take care of them, but they want to take care of themselves. They look for counsel and advice, but they never go to God with it. They make plans without ever paying any attention to the plans that God may have in mind. They have a control complex.

They also have a security complex. The next part of the passage may refer to when they were led out of Egypt and wanted to go back. If it does, think of this: the Hebrews had just seen God unleash the plagues on Egypt. They had seen the sky blotted dark, the death of the firstborn, and other ridiculous things, not to mention the fact that God parted a dang sea for them to walk through on dry land. They got out there and had one day without water and were begging to go back to Egypt. Maybe that's not even referring to the Mosaic period. Maybe it's talking about a more recent time. Either way, Israel isn't trusting God to provide; they're trusting Pharoah and Egypt to provide. They basically want to be proactive and take over the reigns of their lives.

So what is God's response?

Fine. Go ahead. Take your riches, take your wealth, and wander through the wilderness. Go to your Egyptians. You will be no help to them so they will not want you. They also won't be able to help you.

C.S. Lewis said it pretty well. There are two types of people in the world: Those who say "Thy will be done," and those who refuse to obey and to whom God says, "Fine. Have it your way." These Israelites were doing just that. And God let them do exactly what they wanted and took their success from them. Actively.

To make it even worse, God says the Israelites here have told the prophets that He sent not to tell the truth. They didn't want to hear it when God was telling them that they were going the wrong direction. They didn't want to hear that God wasn't pleased with the way they were acting and that He would deal with them if they didn't change. These things that God wanted to tell the Israelites were all for their good, but they still would rather have the lies instead of the truth.

And what was the result? God said that their disobedience and resistance to hear was like a bulge in a high wall or a breach ready to fall. What are breaches? Breaches and walls are both defenses in a time of war. An army or a city builds them in order to keep the enemy out. A breach that is built shoddily is constantly ready to fall. What happens if the breach falls? The army/city gets overrun. Easily. Same with a wall. If the wall is built sturdily, it will be level throughout. A bulge is a sign of shoddy construction and compromises the structural integrity of the wall. A bulging wall is easy to tear down, and we all know (or at least should know) what happens when the wall falls down. Destruction. Total destruction.

What's most interesting to me is who tears the wall/breach down. We live in an age where the Church likes to blame everything on the devil. "The devil messed up my life...things just won't work out! I keep praying for a breakthrough, for God to work this out for me"; I don't know how many times I've said this or heard this from someone else, but it's almost too many times to count. That's not what's happening in this passage. Jesus is actually the one who tears down the Israelites defense and allows them to be defeated. Check it out: "And He shall break it like the breaking of the potter's vessel, which is broken in pieces; He shall not spare. So there shall not be found among its fragments a shard to take fire from the hearth, or to take water from the cistern" (Isaiah 30:14). Isaiah has been called the fifth gospel for a reason; it talks about Jesus almost as much if not more than the four New Testament gospels. The whole Bible is about Jesus from cover to cover, but for the Old Testament Isaiah is extremely explicit. He shows up in this verse and ransacks a people.

So what is the solution? For the people to sit down and shut up. Return to God and rest. If they would return to Him and rest, be quiet and be confident that He is sovereign and in control, then He would fight their battles for them. He would do the footwork for them. But they would rather get on fast horses and ride away. They would rather run away from the danger. That doesn't work when God controls the danger, though...we forget that He does that. His sovereignty has no bounds. So you want to run away on fast horses, huh? Fine. I'll send fast pursuers. And they will catch you. When they do, they will utterly destroy you. You'll be stuck on the top of a hill surrounded and have nowhere to go. You'll be utterly surrounded and utterly defenseless. That's what you will get for running.

But God, who loves us enough to die for us, shows His grace and mercy again. He shows patience and promises to wait so that He can be gracious. Instead of utterly destroying an utterly unfaithful people, He gives them yet another chance. There is pain involved in getting to that point, but if the people will wait for Him, He will give them justice because He is a God of justice.

So all that to say this. I've come to the conclusion that we're just like the Israelites. We have things that concern us and so we seek counsel. Like the Israelites, we're quick to seek counsel that isn't necessarily what God would counsel us to do. If someone comes along who actually warns us that what we're doing or that path that we're going down doesn't necessarily match up with what God has revealed to us in His word, then we either gloss them over or tell them that they've lost their minds. After all, the advice they give us sounds nothing like the counsel that we like, the counsel of people who tell us what we want to hear. It sounds more like the Wisdom with a capital W that God imparts, and that stands in the face of all our fleshly desires.

It's easy to forget that it's not all about us. It's all about Jesus. It's all about His glory. It's all about His name, His fame, His grace. Attempting to take control from Jesus is mutiny. He is a sovereign God who honestly does love us. He wants the best for us. He gives us grace and mercy beyond our wildest dreams.

So why do we always seem to think our plans are better than His?

I have a bad habit of "seeking counsel." Unfortunately when I "seek counsel" without praying, I'm really looking for people to tell me the things that I want to hear. I seem to think that the more people tell me something the more right it is. Then after finding several people who are willing to regurgitate what I feed them by asking loaded questions (which I'm good at, sadly), I assume that, since I've asked a large sample, they must be right. I then ball up all of the answers I get into a little digestible clump and feed them to my soul, convincing myself that they are what God wanted to tell me. Without fail, I end up jacking up my life because of this habit. I'm not really seeking counsel. I'm seeking myself. I'm living a life of idolatry by worshiping myself. I take my words and my desires and esteem them above the words and desires of God. I seek counsel, but not of Him.

What did this do to the Israelites? Ended up being like a bulging wall. Who tore it down? Jesus. Same thing happens to me. I try and take control and overstep my bounds into the realm of God's sovereignty, and for my own good Jesus thwarts my plans. This is an act of mercy. If I, a stupid human, got what I wanted every time, my life would be terrible. If we're honest with ourselves, how many times is what we want really what we need? Not many. Run on fast horses, get fast pursuers. Try and control your life by manipulating others? Be prepared to get manipulated. If that's your method of control, be prepared to meet the bigger fish in the pond. Get ahead by scheming? Better watch your back, because it's coming for you. We reap what we sow; this isn't just Old Testament here. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you (Matthew 7:2). Those are the words of Jesus. Same idea, huh? Makes sense, Him being the same God that spoke Isaiah into being.

So let me ask this: if we claim to be waiting on God, resting in quiet confidence that He goes to battle for us and will provide for us, are we still trying to get our fingers in the mix and control things ourselves? If we are, are we really waiting? If we're doing that, are we really trusting God, or are we trusting ourselves? Maybe we should do what Jesus said and "go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly" (Matthew 6:6). If we would return to our God and rest in the quiet confidence that He is God, then maybe we would stop getting ourselves in the messes that we find ourselves in because we're convinced that the counsel we manufacture is better than the counsel He's graciously willing to give us. He knows what we need. We don't need to doubt that our God realizes we have needs that need to be fulfilled. He made us that way and knows us better than we know ourselves. He alone is able to provide us what we REALLY need.

So are we seeking His will in our lives, or are we looking for the nearest fast horse to jump on?

Wants, Needs, and Witchcraft

So here I am at 2:00AM thinking about some of the things Ben said last night, and I figure a lot of the stuff he said was dead on point. Him talking about Wants vs. Needs really hit the nail on the head in my life, because that's something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I thought that maybe I should write down the things I was thinking. Who knows? It may help somebody else.

I think the best thing Ben did tonight in terms of an illustration was bringing up relationships. I'll even submit that I think that's one of the biggest struggles around here. Personally, I've wondered for a long time what the hold-up is. I've even said some very impatient, very disrespectful things to God about it. I've asked Him how He can see how much I fight to try and live the way He wants me to and not give me a partner to fight that fight with. I've told Him more than a few times that I don't think that's fair. Of course, that's usually in the heat of the moment and I regret it later, but I truly feel that way at those times nonetheless. What I've come to realize lately that that line of thinking is very legalistic and at times I could even classify it as witchcraft or sorcery.

Does that really sound that strange to just say? Maybe just because we have some crazy stereotypes. What is witchcraft anyway? Witchcraft is performing rituals, saying specific words, or doing certain things in order to get the powers that be, or in the case of reality, God to do something specific for us. In the world of pagans, that may mean weird things with candles and strange words. In the world of “organized Christianity” that may mean praying with certain words, only renting movies of a certain rating, only wearing certain clothes and going certain places, and then expecting that because of everything that YOU'VE done God will pay you back out of His obligation to be “just.” That's a warped definition of “just” and it's trying to control God. That's the essence of witchcraft.

That being said, does God reward believers, His kids? Absolutely. Hebrews 11:6 says that “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” Notice though: what is the believer seeking? Is he seeking a wife? Money? Power? Social Status? Ease of Living? Absence of Sickness? No. He's seeking God Himself. If you're seeking God, none of those other things would really be a reward, would they? It's not what you're looking for. The reward for seeking God is God. Those other things aren't necessarily guaranteed. If You or I ever find ourselves living a lifestyle of doing things in order to get God to reciprocate and give us the things we want, we're living a life of idolatry by worshipping something other than God. Sometimes we even have the nerve to ask God to help us worship this other god. Does this sound familiar: “God, I'd do anything to get her back. Just tell me what You want!” Or how about this: “God, he's the one I want, so just tell me what to do and I'll do it if You'll let me have him! I know you can do it!” I'm definitely guilty of the first one of those two (You won't find me asking God for a guy). That's some witchcrafty type stuff right there, believing that because of some things we do that God is obligated to do things for us or believing that God is someone to be bargained with, like He actually needs anything we could possibly give Him. He made the universe by speaking! What could we possibly do for Him that He couldn't do Himself? We live lives of purity not because we're trying to earn good things from God, but because we love Him.

But even with all of that, there's nothing wrong with desiring a partner. God said in Genesis that it's not good for man to be alone; we weren't designed for life on an island, destined to live in solitude for forever. There is a deep desire in every human being for companionship. What we have done as a culture is idealize and deify this search for companionship. All of our stories are “love” stories. Even the action/adventure type movies always have the guy-gets-girl or girl-gets-guy subplot going on. Heck, horror movies even fit the bill. They're way off the mark because nine times out of ten they show sex without any semblance of intimacy and oneness through marriage, but they're still appealing to that primal desire to not be alone. We go wrong when we believe these idealized stories. We've been raised to believe that when we find this girl (guys) or this guy (girls), everything will fall into place. If things don't click, that means they must not be “the one” so we drop them and move on to the next prospect, hoping that things will be more instantaneous, more perfect. Sometimes the opposite is true. Sometimes things don't work out and we degrade ourselves, convincing ourselves with every word that they were perfect and the reason it didn't work out was completely our fault. We look for completion in a heart that is just as twisted, mangled, and carnal as our own instead of looking for completion through the Author and Finisher of our faith, Jesus.

To the guys (I'm also having to remind myself of EVERY SINGLE POINT in this list): Treat girls with respect. Treat them like the daughters of God that they are. At the same time though, remember that they are only human. They make mistakes just like you and me. If you seek fulfillment in these girls, they're going to let you down. Don't put them on a pedestal that defines your manhood, because if you do you're only ever going to feel inadequate, or at best, trapped in a cycle of performance and proving yourself to her. You are made in the image of God and can find fulfillment in Jesus alone. Ask yourself this: If you were to live your life forever as a single guy, never marrying a girl, would you feel like God had slighted you? Would you be angry at Him? If so, it's good for us to remember that these are HIS daughters anyway, not our wives/girlfriends/prizes for the taking. Why do you live the way you do? Is it because you want God to give you someone in return for your goodness? That's idolatry and witchcraft. You're worshipping something other than God, and God shares His worship with no one. He's probably not going to help you worship an idol. Our God is not a weak, passive God. He's a warrior. Spend the time NOT in a relationship to learn and grow in Christ. Let Jesus show you what being a man really means. Learn how to pursue something wholeheartedly and without fear; let Jesus show you what perfect love really means, because perfect love drives out all fear (1 John 4:18). Only then will you be prepared to love a woman the way God would have you do. If you're letting the girls pursue you, something is wrong. The man is supposed to be the initiator; we love them enough as our sister in Christ first, so we give them the right to accept us or reject us. It's pretty cowardly to fear rejection so much that we allow them to make the first move. That's not being a man. That's being a joke. No real woman wants a joke.

To the girls: I'd tell you what I told the guys: don't let the love of a man define your worth and beauty as a woman. If a guy isn't chasing you at the moment, take the time to love Jesus even more and get to know Him even more. Let Jesus make you wise. Get spoiled by His love. Get used to that kind of love, so that way when a less-than-desirable guy comes along and tries to sweep you off your feet with a few sly words, you'll see right through his two-bit sham. No man can love you like God can, but if God has it in His plan for you to marry, then you better believe that He is training up one of His sons to be able to treat you like you deserve to be treated: as a daughter of the King. Wait for that guy. In the meantime, there are lots of your brothers in Christ who are in the process of growing and getting to know their Dad. These guys, not of their own choosing, are hardwired very physically. Because of that, sometimes when you think you dress “cute,” you make these guys who are trying to live for Jesus stumble. Now I'm not saying I think it's inappropriate for a girl to try to look nice...I'm just saying that sometimes one needs to think if it's really necessary to own a shirt that is that low-cut. Or that tight. The “too-tight” thing goes for pants as well. What's the goal of those clothes? What image do you want for yourself? What kind of guys do you think that will attract? We live in a world where guys are bombarded with sex everyday. According to lightedcandle.org, more than 70% of men ages 18-34 visit a pornographic website at least once monthly and the internet is a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces. Think about that when you go through your closet. Of the ten guys that will see you in that outfit, seven of them have seen porn at least once that month. Do you want to make yourself look anything remotely like the sex objects they've had stuck in front of them?

I've said some pretty blunt and to-the-point stuff on here, but I'm not trying to sound condemning. Heck, I'll admit that I could smack myself in the face and yell “hypocrite” really loud just for writing this, because at times I am. But we're human. If we are in Christ, we are new creations, but we still inhabit fallen bodies with a tendency to do fallen things. I love my Christian family and I know relationships and sex cause a whole lot of pain, and I don't want that for anyone. I'm not trying to condemn. I thank God every day that I have Christian friends and a church that I can discuss things like this with. Relationships, Sex...some would keep from talking about this in church because it's “inappropriate.” I think the Church is the most appropriate place in all of creation to talk about these things, because where the Church is silent, other voices will speak. It's all in love.