You also, be patient.

"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door. As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful."

James 5:7-11

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, but I figure now is just as much an appropriate time as any, because I seem to think and mull things over the most when I write.

I'm flat out not a patient person. I constantly rush things, am never content with where I am or where God has me at the moment. My fallen nature tends to get the best of me, and instead of focusing on all of the good things that God has put in front of me to enjoy and give Him glory for, I focus on the one thing I don't have and subsequently make myself miserable.

I've been going through the book of Ecclesiastes lately. Somebody today called it a very "backwards" book of the Bible. I kind of see where it's coming from. You've got a man, likely Solomon, writing about how all of life is vain. Of course, Solomon had neither a concept of an afterlife nor the knowledge of who Jesus is, but in a temporal sort of way, it makes sense when you think of where he's coming from. He's a man who had everything. He had wisdom like the wisdom he showed in Proverbs. He had, at one point, a happy, Godly marriage as seen in Song of Solomon. And then somewhere after those books it all fell apart. He falls into this pattern of thinking:

"Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun. Is there a thing of which it is said, 'See, this is new'? It has been already in the ages before us. There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after."

Ecclesiastes 1:1-11

I've really keyed in lately on the verse that says "All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full." I want to stop being the sea and start being the stream. I'm tired of just soaking up all of these blessings and not pouring some out to others. I don't feel like the earth is futile, because I know that there is a loving God running it. I know that He is a Dad who loves me and has taken care of me for longer than the 21 years I've been alive. He knew me before I was born, and will know me long after I die. He knows my likes and my dislikes, my wants and my needs, my sins and failures along with the things He's done through me and the high points of my life. He knows me inside and out and won't leave me. But somehow I've lost sight of the stability of the world.

There is a beautiful stability in Solomon's words. True, the streams will always run into the oceans for as long as the world exists. And the oceans will never be filled. But that's what they're supposed to do, isn't it? The streams go to the same place every time, the sun rises and goes down in the same place every day, both in complete obedience and submission to their God. Instead of being futile and depressing, I feel like they're teaching me a little bit about obedience. As Jesus designed them to be, so they are: unquestioning, obedient, and loyal servants of the King of Kings. And what is the result of this obedience? A planet full of life, warmed by the sun and watered by the streams that flow through the land. The oceans support fish and tons of other life. The wind that blows carries seeds and pollen that causes plants go grow all over the world.

How did we come to the conclusion that the world works better when we're in control?

How did I come to the conclusion that my life works better when I'm in control?

I want to be the stream. I want to go where Jesus tells me to, and flow into the oceans that Jesus commands me to. I want to rise when He says rise, and set when He says set. I want to stop looking for the things that I think I want and simply do what He wants me to do. He is a good Father that won't give me a stone when I ask for bread. He won't give me a serpent if I ask for a fish. He won't leave me without the things that my heart needs. I just have to be patient. I have to be satisfied with seeing, satisfied with hearing. I have to stop desiring more and more and more and just desire Him. I want Jesus to work that miracle in me, to change my desires from those of an impatient, unfocused 21 year old college guy to those of a man with wisdom and patience given to him by God.

But that will only happen if I stop trying to control my own life. I see the evidence of my Dad stepping in every day. It's a very humbling experience to know that even when I feel like I planned something with its own purpose, God is accomplishing His plan on a much higher level than I could ever dream of. Every single step of my day is not only known to Him, but planned by Him and shaped by Him. There is no defeat for the believer. God will accomplish his will. I think it was C.S. Lewis that said, "We all do the will of God, but some do it like Judas and some do it like Peter." I've come to realize that for a believer, all "taking control" does for us is increase our frustration with ourselves, because we notice the power of God in our lives, and it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to obtain something that is our desire or want, God has the final say. It is visible to us that "the lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:33). When we try to take control, its impossible for us to ignore the influence of God on every single aspect of our lives, and our fallen nature, the root of our controlling rebellion, is insulted by its insignificance compared to the power of God.

I've been rebellious and controlling and impatient lately. I've been convinced that I have to make all the moves, I have to control every piece of my chess match, I have to be here at the right time, there at the right time, say the right thing, shut up at the right time. Really the solution is that if I'm just worrying about Jesus, if I just worry about His will, His will includes a perfect, holy, sanctifying, and perfectly fulfilling plan for me. By submitting to His will, I'm submitting to a loving, God-honoring and God-glorifying, conformed-to-Christ plan for me. What else could I possibly want? Because every single need I have is contained in that plan.

Jesus doesn't love me because of what I do. He loves me just because He does. Same with all other believers. He is patient with me, so I should be patient with His plan for my life. He's better at my life than I am anyway. Maybe I should just let Him live it.

What a novel idea.