On God's Timetable

The Screwtape Letters, Ch. 13 (C.S. Lewis)

"And now for your blunders. On your awn showing you first of all allowed the patient to read a book he really enjoyed, because he enjoyed it and not in order to make clever remarks about it to his new friends. In the second place, you allowed him to walk down to the old mill and have tea there –a walk through country he really likes, and taken alone. In other words you allowed him two real positive Pleasures. Were you so ignorant as not to see the danger of this? The characteristic of Pains and Pleasures is that they are unmistakably real, and therefore, as far as they go, give the man who feels them a touchstone of reality. Thus if you had been trying to damn your man by the Romantic method –by making him a kind of Childe Harold or Werther submerged in self-pity for imaginary distresses –you would try to protect him at all costs from any real pain; because, of course, five minutes' genuine toothache would reveal the romantic sorrows for the nonsense they were and unmask your whole stratagem."

I started this blog intending to write about enduring and being patient. God had other plans. He wanted me to realize not the severity of my test, but the extent to which I had blown up the “troubles” that I have been “enduring.” This isn't so much testing as it is a greedy child, the prodigal son, wanting his entire inheritance at once. How much of my struggle is created by my own greed and impatience? How much of this “test of endurance” is really just me not being willing to slow down?

Long story short, I find myself in a season of life in which I have a lot of decisions to make. I have lots of choices in front of me. But even as I was sitting there whining and thinking about how I could write it down and make it come across like it's a really big deal, I'm guessing God kind of raised the eyebrow at me.

Let's examine my situation.

I'm living in the United States of America, where I have the right to believe whatever the heck I want to believe. If I were to hang a sign on my front door that said “I'm a Christian and I'm proud of it,” then the police wouldn't come and take me out of my house. On the contrary, if they did, I could sue them.

The last time I was hungry, I walked over to the dining hall and grabbed two slices of pizza and two glasses of Powerade. I didn't grab a cookie for dessert, but I could have if I wanted to. I listened to my iPod while I was walking down the sidewalk on what is (periodically) a sunny day.

My vision isn't exactly perfect, so I have a pair of glasses on my face right now that are covered by insurance. I have a vehicle of my own and there is gas in my tank.

Let's be real. I am a person defining trial right now who gets impatient when his soba noodles aren't cooked by the microwave fast enough. Whether or not God acts by my timetable isn't really His concern. He loves me. He's my dad. But He's also the sovereign God of the universe who isn't really as urgent about me getting some things as I am. He'll do all that He wishes to do through me...in HIS time. Not necessarily mine.

I was thinking about this and the story of Abraham came to mind. Not the usual way I go though, because normally I would be thinking about how he did his own thing with Hagar and ended up with Ishmael. I was thinking more about when he went over into Egypt.

Genesis 12:10-20

“Now there was a famine in the land. So Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, “I know that you are a woman beautiful in appearance, and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me, but they will let you live. Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared for your sake.” When Abram Entered Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. And when the princes of Pharaoh saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh. And the woman was taken into Pharaoh's house. And for her sake he dealt well with Abram; and he had sheep, oxen, male donkeys, male servants, female servants, female donkeys, and camels.” But the LORD afflicted Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram's wife. SO Pharaoh called Abram and said, 'What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife? Why did you say, 'She is my sister,' so that I took her for my wife? Now then, here is your wife; take her, and go.' And Pharaoh gave men orders concerning him, and they sent him away with his wife and all that he had.”

What to notice here is that God had already promised Abraham (Abram at the time) that He was going to be a father of many nations. He'd already given him the promise of how things were going to be for him. But Abram got scared when he heard there was a famine and so he ran to Egypt. He found the closest thing that was the answer for his problem and went running to it instead of to God. Our existence is to bring glory to God. Now I'm not saying be unwise, but how awesome would it have been if everywhere was in famine except where Abram sat down? I mean yeah, he left with a lot of stuff from Pharaoh, but how much stuff would he have gotten if he was the only agricultural game in town? And his response when people asked him why his crops weren't dying would be? “My God is good and has promised good things for me.” He didn't take that opportunity to trust God though.

Even in his poor decision making though, God was still with him and still took care of him. Abraham basically had to pick between two blessings. The closer, immediately tangible blessing of Egypt or the promised provision and protection of God. He chose what he could get his hands on at the time.

I feel like I have that problem, too. I don't really want to condemn Abram and talk about how stupid a move that was and how obvious it was that God was giving him the chance to experience something amazing because I do this same thing every day. I decide that what is most immediately available must be what God wants for me, and so I jump. I'm impatient. And quickly God lets me know that I've done so. And shortly after He shows me that, He hits me with the same trial again. He is relentless in conforming me to the image of Christ, and if that means He has to hit me with the same stuff over and over again, He's got all the time in the world (haha, literally) to do it with. Some of the guys in my small group came up with this combination of scripture:

Ecclesiastes 3:14-15

"I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away."

Plus

Jeremiah 29:10-14

“For thus says the LORD: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.”

They just used 29:11 in Jeremiah, but I'm going to add the other verses in with it. God has an eternal plan for everything that cannot and will not be stopped. That includes our lives. It's arrogant to think that somehow we could do something that would dislodge or derail the plan of an all knowing, all powerful, ever-present, and eternal God. That plan that He has includes the plans that He has for us, plans for a future and a hope. Those plans cannot and will not be dislodged or derailed. Now does that mean that everything will run smoothly? Nope. Notice that before God tells them that He has a plan for them, He also tells them that they're going to have to wait until their time in Babylon is up. He is the one who drove them there. He is the one that has made them wait.

My gut reaction when I realized this was to say “that's not fair,” but then I remembered that fair would be me burning in hell for the sins I've committed, so I decided against arguing in favor of fairness.

God works tirelessly to conform us to the image of His son Jesus, like Romans 8 says. If I got everything I wanted when I wanted it, I wouldn't be being conformed to the image of Jesus. I would be conforming myself to the image of...well, myself.

1 Peter 1:6-9

"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

I need to remember that my trials are minimal here, my blessings are many, and my impatience is great. God is a very good God who does send trial every once in a while in order to strengthen our faith, and He is faithful not to put more on me than I can bear. But if God loads me down with what I can bear and I generate more trials for myself through my own greed, indecision, and impatience, then I carry no guarantee that I will be able to bear those. My faith is to be constantly tested and I'm constantly being conformed to the image of Christ, but that is done on God's timetable—not mine.

You also, be patient.

"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door. As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful."

James 5:7-11

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, but I figure now is just as much an appropriate time as any, because I seem to think and mull things over the most when I write.

I'm flat out not a patient person. I constantly rush things, am never content with where I am or where God has me at the moment. My fallen nature tends to get the best of me, and instead of focusing on all of the good things that God has put in front of me to enjoy and give Him glory for, I focus on the one thing I don't have and subsequently make myself miserable.

I've been going through the book of Ecclesiastes lately. Somebody today called it a very "backwards" book of the Bible. I kind of see where it's coming from. You've got a man, likely Solomon, writing about how all of life is vain. Of course, Solomon had neither a concept of an afterlife nor the knowledge of who Jesus is, but in a temporal sort of way, it makes sense when you think of where he's coming from. He's a man who had everything. He had wisdom like the wisdom he showed in Proverbs. He had, at one point, a happy, Godly marriage as seen in Song of Solomon. And then somewhere after those books it all fell apart. He falls into this pattern of thinking:

"Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity. What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hastens to the place where it rises. The wind blows to the south and goes around to the north; around and around goes the wind, and on its circuits the wind returns. All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there they flow again. All things are full of weariness; a man cannot utter it; the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing. What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun. Is there a thing of which it is said, 'See, this is new'? It has been already in the ages before us. There is no remembrance of former things, nor will there be any remembrance of later things yet to be among those who come after."

Ecclesiastes 1:1-11

I've really keyed in lately on the verse that says "All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full." I want to stop being the sea and start being the stream. I'm tired of just soaking up all of these blessings and not pouring some out to others. I don't feel like the earth is futile, because I know that there is a loving God running it. I know that He is a Dad who loves me and has taken care of me for longer than the 21 years I've been alive. He knew me before I was born, and will know me long after I die. He knows my likes and my dislikes, my wants and my needs, my sins and failures along with the things He's done through me and the high points of my life. He knows me inside and out and won't leave me. But somehow I've lost sight of the stability of the world.

There is a beautiful stability in Solomon's words. True, the streams will always run into the oceans for as long as the world exists. And the oceans will never be filled. But that's what they're supposed to do, isn't it? The streams go to the same place every time, the sun rises and goes down in the same place every day, both in complete obedience and submission to their God. Instead of being futile and depressing, I feel like they're teaching me a little bit about obedience. As Jesus designed them to be, so they are: unquestioning, obedient, and loyal servants of the King of Kings. And what is the result of this obedience? A planet full of life, warmed by the sun and watered by the streams that flow through the land. The oceans support fish and tons of other life. The wind that blows carries seeds and pollen that causes plants go grow all over the world.

How did we come to the conclusion that the world works better when we're in control?

How did I come to the conclusion that my life works better when I'm in control?

I want to be the stream. I want to go where Jesus tells me to, and flow into the oceans that Jesus commands me to. I want to rise when He says rise, and set when He says set. I want to stop looking for the things that I think I want and simply do what He wants me to do. He is a good Father that won't give me a stone when I ask for bread. He won't give me a serpent if I ask for a fish. He won't leave me without the things that my heart needs. I just have to be patient. I have to be satisfied with seeing, satisfied with hearing. I have to stop desiring more and more and more and just desire Him. I want Jesus to work that miracle in me, to change my desires from those of an impatient, unfocused 21 year old college guy to those of a man with wisdom and patience given to him by God.

But that will only happen if I stop trying to control my own life. I see the evidence of my Dad stepping in every day. It's a very humbling experience to know that even when I feel like I planned something with its own purpose, God is accomplishing His plan on a much higher level than I could ever dream of. Every single step of my day is not only known to Him, but planned by Him and shaped by Him. There is no defeat for the believer. God will accomplish his will. I think it was C.S. Lewis that said, "We all do the will of God, but some do it like Judas and some do it like Peter." I've come to realize that for a believer, all "taking control" does for us is increase our frustration with ourselves, because we notice the power of God in our lives, and it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to obtain something that is our desire or want, God has the final say. It is visible to us that "the lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:33). When we try to take control, its impossible for us to ignore the influence of God on every single aspect of our lives, and our fallen nature, the root of our controlling rebellion, is insulted by its insignificance compared to the power of God.

I've been rebellious and controlling and impatient lately. I've been convinced that I have to make all the moves, I have to control every piece of my chess match, I have to be here at the right time, there at the right time, say the right thing, shut up at the right time. Really the solution is that if I'm just worrying about Jesus, if I just worry about His will, His will includes a perfect, holy, sanctifying, and perfectly fulfilling plan for me. By submitting to His will, I'm submitting to a loving, God-honoring and God-glorifying, conformed-to-Christ plan for me. What else could I possibly want? Because every single need I have is contained in that plan.

Jesus doesn't love me because of what I do. He loves me just because He does. Same with all other believers. He is patient with me, so I should be patient with His plan for my life. He's better at my life than I am anyway. Maybe I should just let Him live it.

What a novel idea.